I realize the battle is really with myself. I am the one who holds me back from Christ at times.
I hate it that I am like this. I have my own demons I must fight.
Some days I am close to him and other days I am so far from him.
I know if I stay with him the battle gets easier but right now it’s a very bloody war.
I can be so close to him and then later in the day I am at risk of complete failure as I walk on the edge of sin.
In this war we take some ground and a few hours later we lose it.
Is there any rhyme or reason to this insane inner war?
Thinking this morning that I should embrace this struggle and actually be glad that there is a struggle for this war is a process of internal sanctification where he builds us to be more usable by him and in doing so reflect more of his light.
The war seasons us to be better soldiers for him.
We constantly have to decide yes or no, do we follow him or not?
It’s like taking a true or false test.
I used to always get the wrong answer but lately I get most of them right.
Thank God for the process of sanctification. It may be painful at times but it shapes and molds us to his will.
We are metal and he is the blacksmith. By the process of sanctification he molds us to who we need to be.